Originally posted by Raven on tribe.net.on how to get a troupe member to stop telling you how to run your troupe? Im open to discussions about concerns, questions, suggestions, etc., but sometimes my patience gets a bit thin when Im consistently bombarded with "you need to do this, you need to do that, you need to tell others this, you need to tell them that" yada yada. Trying to be understanding, and Ive had a few gentle conversations about this but...damn....*sigh*.
Originally posted by Wendy on tribe.net.she might just need to hear directly that she is wearing your patience thin. It is okay to put up a boundary around that. Gentle conversations are great, but they tend to leave the door open for more pushing. Sounds like this particular person may just need to be shut down. br/she probably wont be happy about it, but as a troupe leader, you cant always please everyone, and you have to do whats best for the group as a whole. Good luck!
Originally posted by Jan H on tribe.net.My primary dance partner used to say things like that ALL THE TIME. "We need to do XYZ, you need to teach it this way." She didnt realize how tiring that sounded, or how obnoxious it sounded, until I called her out on it; she thought she was just making suggestions.br/br/Finally, I called her out on it using these words almost verbatim : "When you say I need to do X, it sounds like youre telling me what to do, and I find that really tiring." The behavior stopped entirely. When she does make suggestions now, she makes them in a much more respectful way, and Im able to hear them a little bit better.br/br/But Im lucky; this dancer has a lot of respect for me, and we generally have a good working professional relationship. It might be different if that level of respect didnt exist.
Originally posted by Wendy on tribe.net.I had a student who was doing something similar, and I finally asked her, "are you venting to me as a friend, or expecting me to make changes as a teacher? Because I am feeling like you expect me to make changes based on what you are telling me". br/br/It turns out she was venting to me as a friend, but didnt realize that, since Im her teacher, I was feeling pressured by her to make changes based on what SHE wasnt pleased with. Since that discussion she hasnt said a word.
Originally posted by Raven on tribe.net.I so think respect has alot to do with it, as well as friendship. When I first started teaching many of my dance friends would interject their own techniques during my class. I had to set boundaries with that and have several conversations. Doesnt happen anymore. But it was very challenging. I suppose it boils down to communication. I suppose Im a bit stressed bc Ive had this conversation with her before. But maybe I havent impressed it enough. Thanks.
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